Current Quests – Week of 03/09/2008
Welcome back people, for yet another addition of “Is it Sunday Already?” A quick sampling of our gaming appetites at the moment; you may notice more than one person is itching for their Smash Brothers fix, and at least one person wants to kill them for it. Observe!
Cortney “Alethea” Stone has been busying herself with Final Fantasy Tactics, regaling us with tales of thieves that succeed at 30% steal attempts 100% of the time. The math nerd inside all of us cries out in rage at this perversion of the laws of probability. As always, her feline persona in Final Fantasy XI continues to lug around a certain Hume and generally treat him like her own life-size dress-up doll. Reportedly, the Hume has raised no objections to this.
Michael “CactuarJoe” Beckett, recently usurped of his spot as the #2 content poster on this site (by me! Booyeah! It’s Jagerbomb time!), contents himself with Pokemon while he waits for the next installment of Crystal Chronicles and mourns the passing of his DS Lite. He was last seen just outside my window with a sniper rifle, ready to pick me off for the aforementioned content surpassing.
Jerry “XeroZohar” Swain has lately been seen living the good life on the off-world colonies in Mass Effect, presumably salivating over the awesomeness that is Jennifer Hale’s voice. Lord knows Keith David’s was enough to seal the deal for me. Anyway, he recently talked the final bad guy to death and is rumored to be gearing up for a New Game+ playthrough. Gotta love it.
Michael “Slayer of God” Kozinko was jonesing for some PSX-era goodness and settled down with Lunar: Eternal Blue. If you listen closely you can hear him shouting Mystere’s attack quotes from down the hall. When he’s not doing that, he’s dropping gumdrops around battling bugs (thank you, Yahtzee) in Devil May Cry 4, and puttering around Yoshi’s Island. Mm-hmm.
T.J. “Nerdboy Himself” Condon is, by his own words, preparing to vidcast the Super Smash Brothers Brawl launch. Last seen locked in a death struggle with Slayer over his choice of interactive entertainment. We’re all hoping, for both their sakes, that Snake does not meet an untimely end.
The Brawl bug has hit Jordan “J_Sensei” Jackson as well, who went to great lengths and presumably several well-trained security guards to acquire his copy as soon as was physically possible. While waiting for the heat to die down and getting his car resprayed to throw off cops, he was seen carrying a copy of Trauma Center: New Blood home. We’re guessing he had an extra hand free while escaping from the store and figured “ehh, in for a penny…”
(According to UsingEnglish.com, I may be using that phrase incorrectly. Judge for thyselves!)
Derek “Roku” Cavin has regrettably been preoccupied with such trivial things as school, fixing his computer, installing Linux, being the Mac guy in those commercials, and falling asleep at his computer. Oh, and he also gets language lab credit for watching anime. Just thinking about that reminds me that we may never see a third season or satisfactory conclusion of Rozen Maiden, and that makes me a ridiculously sad panda.
Speaking of myself, I too have been screwing around in Mass Effect, doing donuts on Geth corpses and killing crazy plant people. Also wishing Shepard would get over his fear of women in full-body exosuits and hit up Tali already, because goddamn is she awesome. Apart from that, going for a double dose of Bioware with the Baldur’s Gate series in its entirety. Plan is to play a monk and make like Jet Li, switching the music to DMX whenever a fight breaks out.
That’s us for the week. Thanks for stopping by folks, be good! Don’t do anything I-
*rifle bullet smashes through window, misses me and hits the monitor instead*
Oh, right. Fortunately, it looks like Cactuar hasn’t quite learned the finer points of adjusting a rifle scope. If you folks will excuse me…
*grabs a shotgun and heads outside, scat-singing the bassline from “Eye of the Tiger”*
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